Yup! This ones been floating around in my noggin for a while now and well the 80s( if Ya remember them ) some bands released album titles that at the time I thought were interesting to say the least! But now it’s like Haha! Like Poison with Open Up And Say Ahh! Kiss with Lick It Up,Heavy Pettin with Rock Ain’t Dead( rock wasn’t dead but Heavy Pettin were)…or L.A Guns second album release called Cocked And Loaded but for me hands down,cards on the table the album that best describes a bands downward spiral would be Quiet Riot with Condition Critical. Hey man some one wanna try and revive this slab of rock…Ummm no I didn’t think so and here are the true events from 1984 as recounted by me or as Sarca calls me The Unablogger!
1984, musically for me it was a huge dose of VH with 1984,Crüe with Shout At The Devil,Whitesnakes Slide It In,Maiden with Powerslave,Sammy Hagars VOA and many more,but one that I bought without a doubt that I thought would rock and that many of us got fooled with including many local cast and characters of my musical mafia was Quiet Riot!
Condition Critcal was the name,Kevin Dubrow (RIP)losing his hair over this record was the game. So in the summer of 84 Dubrow, Rudy Sarzo,Carlos Cavazo and Frankie Banali thought they could fool me as a 17 year old! Ha,Nope!
So I’m sure we all know the deal with Metal Health right?( read Monday’s review of Metal Health if Ya didn’t here’s it in a nutshell) QR nails the pot of gold with one of the albums of 1983! QR was everywhere,radio,TV ,print magazines they were selling albums like hotcakes plus the singles Cum On Feel The Noise,Metal Health went bizarro and pushed the album to the moon. Everyone back than had a copy! Hell,my wife Q even has told me she had owned a copy of Metal Health as well and she has never been a big music buyer so QR Mach 1983 is crossing over in a big way……
July 1984,QR strikes while the iron is hot! QR is cashing in man big time! I’m sure in there heads they thought the new album was the Shit! Well it was in some regards…..
SIGN OF THE TIMES- ok ok not a bad opener! Dubrow and his yap are telling us “hey hey,hey were a Sign Of The Times,having fun ain’t no crime” so yeah Sarzo’s still licking his bass like a Popsicle,Cavazo’s playing some guitar and Banali’s pounding the drums deliver a solid opening tune and well I’ll be damned but those guys that ran that label and that studio Pasha all had one thing in common. That is all there bands had the same production sound QR,Kick Axe and King Kobra there was no difference in the sonics! Hey don’t get me wrong I’m no producer but that’s kinda fucked!
MAMA WERE ALL CRAZEE NOW-Red Flag Number 1 with Condition Critical and QR decide if it ain’t broke don’t fix it. So it’s another Slade cover track 2, just like Cum On Feel The Noize on Metal Health(Slade song,track2) Ummm back than I was not amused by this move I was thinking what a bunch of lazy asses but than again I guess it was snowing in California with whoever made this decision. If this wasn’t already done I could have probably liked this tune more but man ……
PARTY ALL NIGHT- hahaha,so QR wants to make VH like videos? Ok ?? They always fell short like VH’s Hot For Teacher Vid is a classic this is kinda low budget video work. Kinda like if me and Tbone were rock video directors,ie…Budget hahaha… The song is QR telling us to Party All Night Long…..alrighty Dubrow as long as you bring the 1 am Doritos/Quarter Pounder burgers cuz there’s gonna be some munchies going down …….
STOMP YOUR HANDS,CLAP YOUR FEET- I guess is another play on SUMTHIN that Slade had done! So Dubrow is chasing Slade. Ha well thats ok I guess when your influenced by a sound but this is getting ridiculous! This song is ok it just proves the point that some songs just have goofy titles. But back to the Slade thing and I guess you have to give credit where credit is due and Slade themselves had a bit of a resurgence in America with Run,Runaway or sumthin to that effect! So good on you Dubrow for making them gain some notoriety in good ol 1984.
WINNER TAKES ALL-ends side one and this is the QR balladeer number. ….Ummm, Next!
CONDITION CRITICAL- Banali try’s to be Bonham with that drum groove and it’s not a bad song but it isn’t Zep! But this song basically ends Condition Critical for me as the rest well let’s just say…..
SCREAM AND SHOUT – just like song 7 on Metal Health(Run For Cover) this is a double bass drummey for dummeys of rip offs! It’s weak man ….got a craving for QR double bass driving tunes than stick with Run For Cover off of Metal Health ..but would u actually get a sonic craving for QR ?? Hahahaha …..didn’t think so!
RED ALERT- is just a straight ahead plodder of really nothin. Abort,abort The SS QR is taking on water…just like a ship sinking so is QR!
BAD BOY- nothin new here folks just some sappy lyrics and sappy everything…..
WE WERE BORN TO ROCK- let’s finish with a anthem. The only problem is everyone has already exited the building …..this is not a good song! I’m not gonna slam no more cause there’s the door! That’s me talking by the way!
IN CONCLUSION-after laying waste with record sales in 1983 with Metal Health. QR does the exact same thing and try’s to copy the previous albums material but fall way short. The songs are not strong enough to stand the test of time. QR recorded a album by all intent and purposes should have stayed in 1984. Back than even I never really got Into to Condition Critical and I mean yeah QR’s Condition was indeed Critical and just when Ya thought no more slop could hit my turntable …..
Check back Friday !